Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Conspiracy?

   I would like to start out by saying I am not at all interested in politics.  I'm not saying that I don't care about our country.  What I'm saying is that I hate all the bullshit that is known as American  politics.  Please do not ask me any political questions cause I won't even acknowledge them.  I know too many people that can't stand to be in the same room because of this subject.  I do not care to play this game.

    Okay got the disclaimer out of the way.  Even though I feel this way I do still have several opinions floating around my melon all at the same time.  Just to let you know I am not on the bottle tonight.  Okay I had one drink about 2 hours ago but it's no longer affecting my medulla oblongata.  (Learned those big words from the Water Boy)  "Alligators is awnry cause they got all those teeth and no toothbrush."  Sorry lost my train of thought.

   I heard this commercial on the radio today that really made me think.  I don't know if anybody has been writing about the whole Toyota thing  that has been all over the news.  If you have I am hoping this is a different opinion on the subject, sorry if I am repeating anything.  If you know anyone this has happened to I am very sorry.  I am not trying to poke fun at the situation at all.  I do believe the problems are real.  Not trying to hurt anyone.  

    The commercial was for the new Chevy Malibu.  I don't remember it all but it basically said that Toyota's are junk and the Malibu is a zillion times safer and more fuel efficient.  Correct me if I'm wrong but hasn't Toyota been selling the best cars in the universe since the big bang.(For all the other perverts out there besides me, I mean the big bang theory)  My parents have been driving nothing but Toyota's for over 20 years and never even had them in the shop for any repairs.  But that's not really the point I'm trying to make.  I'm not a Chevy hater either.  Doesn't the government basically own GM now?  Our government seems to be running smack commercials about Toyota.  If I am wrong I am sorry.  I don't really keep up with the news anymore.  Most of what I know I get off the radio while I am driving all over hell and back for my job. 
   
   So assuming I'm right up to this point, doesn't it seem really weird that Toyota has started having an assload of problems since the government took over.  Awfully convenient if you ask me.  I'm pretty sure that on one of the recent shuttle launches they must have sent up a new satellite with the sole purpose of fucking with Toyota.  Must be some kind of localized EMP weapon or something.  Maybe the bastards finally found a use for the old star wars program.  I can't even tell you how hurt I was as a young STAR WARS fanatic to find out that this program didn't even involve the Millennium Falcon or the Death Star.  It really hurt me to find out that it was just a waste of billions of tax dollars. 

   Anywasteoftaxdollars, I think maybe we have paid off the Russian cosmonaut who is sitting in the space station to randomly target Toyota's across America. Well can't be an EMP cause that would just disable the car.  Obviously not some kind of STAR WARS laser weapon because that would blow the car up and that might be too obvious.  Must be some kind of radio wave or secret wireless internet thing that can upload a hidden virus to the cars computer causing it to accelerate and not stop.  This is one hell of a way of boosting American car sales.

   You might think I am crazy and you're probably right but you won't change my opinion.  I don't trust the government or any public figures.  I think they are all crazy. 

  I want to leave you with one of my favorite sayings.                                                                                                                                                       
"I am actually the only sane person in this world full of crazy idiots"

9 comments:

Momma Fargo said...

You are like crack. Not butt crack..but funny bone cocaine. I keep coming back for more torture. LOL.

I'm with ya on the government and I work for them. :)

Brittney said...

I am always coming up with conspiracy theories.. I dont trust the govt. at all.. that could be b.c I watch crazy ass movies, but thats not the point. I didnt know the Govt. bought those car... oh you got my wheels turning!!!

adrienzgirl said...

So basically what you're saying is that Star Wars is real? In that case, I want me a dual sided lightsaber and a badass droid to cook and clean!

That One Mom said...

I'm with ZGirl on the droid thing. Screw socialized medicine! Get me a cooking and cleanig droid, dammit!

Alison said...

I am with the housekeeping droid...life would be so much nicer with one

Danielle said...

I think you are on to something, but I still feel sorry for your wife. :)

middle child said...

First,...quit saying you're sorry. You are who you are and you feel what you feel.
Also; "I became insane with long horrible periods of SANITY!"

Kim said...

i guess you haven't heard about the GM recalls for power steering...nothing like driving along and not being able to turn. lol

Daffy said...

Hang on, I had a witty comment but I think the MotherShip is trying to contact me. I need to stand next to the window...I have fillings in my back teeth...I seem to get better reception that way.

Be right back.....