Sunday, April 4, 2010

Yes I went to my wife's baby shower.....

Well here it is.  What you have all been waiting for.  BDC is finally attempting to blog.  I love talking about myself in the third person.  Makes me feel more important than I'm sure I really am.  Why is that so empowering?   I don't know but I like it a lot. 


I was recently at my wife's baby shower when some of the lady's there started shouting "BDC   BDC   BDC" and for some reason that made me feel more, manly.  Wait I know the jokes are already coming.  Why was I at the shower to begin with right?  Well the answer is because there were lots of women there and they seem to like me.  Okay that's not true I was there to pick up one of my three sons.  Yes I can say my three sons and it’s not only awesome but it’s true. 

So I was at my wife's baby shower to pick up women and my son when my adoring female fans started to chant my abbreviated namesake and I realized that people really do read this stuff, even people I know.  Now I think I was most shocked that I actually know people that can read, but also I thought it was pretty cool too.  So I started thinking about giving this writing stuff a shot.  I am not always a man of many words.  Often I just mumble things under my breath and wait for someone to ask me what's wrong.  Being prone to depression doesn't help much with that but my wife always helps me with that and sets me straight.  "Sweet heart you need to get in a better mood or I am going to bury your corpse in the back yard and find a new husband" tends to be a good motivator. 

The really weird thing is that when I drink I seem to get in a much better mood.  No matter how bad things get liquid truth tends to make things better.  This is completely backwards from the rest of my family but that's another story.  Bacardi 151 and a splash of coke is my chosen serum.  People call it jet fuel.  The way I drink it is apparently unusual.  Bartenders always ask if I know what the hell I am ordering.  They offer me water to go with it which I find insulting.  I started drinking liquid truth after gaining about a hundred pounds and realizing the regular stuff was not enough to do the trick anymore.  When my family knows I have had a bad day or am depressed about things in general they sometimes meet me at the door with a drink and tell me to drink it fast so they can make me another. 

Strange I know.  I may be the only person I've ever heard of that is encouraged to be a drunk.  I am not a drunk though.  I don't want you to get the wrong impression.  This is not a nightly thing with me.  Every couple of weeks or so is good enough to keep me going.  I never want to be the Dad that loses his wife or kids to the bottle.  Of course I am sure nobody wants to be that guy.  All things in moderation, or whatever that saying is. 

So anyways I was not at the baby shower to join in the festivities just there for business.  Just wanted to clear that up.  I am happily married with like 17 kids or something.  I just checked with the wife and it's actually 5 kids.  Sorry sometimes I lose count.  Anyway the drink tends to make me say whatever I actually think so it became liquid truth.  Well I just wanted to say hi and tell you a little bit about myself.  There will be more to come.  By the way BEWARE OF THE GREEN SMOKE!!!!!

22 comments:

adrienzgirl said...

Green smoke...real nice BDC. I like your blog! You must have had a crack team of designers! Mwah!

Dee said...

I'm your 2nd follower. You gots to remember me when you are a supah stah!!!!!

Oh, and your wife...she's a hottie. Don't evah forget that.

That One Mom said...

BDC!!! Welcome to our world!! I promise I won't let your wife bury your corpse in the backyard! (I'd hate for the dogs to dig you up and have her get pinched by the cops! I'd totally help her find a more approriate place.... That's real!) :D

Mad Woman said...

About freakin' time! We've been hearing all about you. Welcome to our universe of insanity!

Brittney said...

stopping by from your wifey's blog!!!
welcome to a new addiction! haha!!!

Daffy said...

"Sweet heart you need to get in a better mood or I am going to bury your corpse in the back yard and find a new husband"

Dude....I think this will be my new motto. Do you mind? I may even tattoo it on my ass. I would find immense satisfaction in shoving my ass in my hubs face to get this message across.

I'm thinking this blog thing may suit you....or me...cause I laughed. Be prepared for your numbers to grow...you've got good stuff (yes, I'm talkin about your wife)

Dual Mom said...

It must be nice to have connections...no one gets 7 comments on their first post.

Feel special.

June said...

Welcome to Bloland!
This should be rather entertaining...
We bloggers love drunk blog posts!!

GunDiva said...

Yay! Will y'all continue to do interviews with each other? 'Cause that shit cracks me right the hell up.

Welcome to the blogosphere.

Erin said...

BDC--welcome to the Blogosphere, and your wife ROCKS!!! And congrats on your new baby girl.

I'm following you now! Happy Easter!

middle child said...

Hey Dude -
I'm not joining because your wife said to but because of the Star Wars thingie. Reminds me of my son and his son. And just a thought - Do you think the drinkie has anything to do with the amount of kids you have??? Seriously, your blog (words) are great and I look forward to reading you. Your wife warned us about being affectionate so don't tell her I just licked the screen. (P.S, I am happily married too.)

gayle said...

Welcome to blogging!! Looking forward to reading your posts!! Love your wife!!

The Blue Zoo said...

Ha! I loved that Green Smoke story.

Welcome to Bloggerland. Its addicting!

Momma Fargo said...

LMFAO! You are very funny. Good job. Keep drinking. I'm following you.

*LLUVIA* said...

LOL! I laughed, so I shall be back for more Liquid Truth cause I'm weird like that!

Welcome to Blogland!!!!

I love your wife (not in a lesbian way or anything); she makes me laugh!

Ian said...

Finally, another dude up in here. It ain't easy blogging among all these lady friends.

Someone's gotta keep it real in here, and thankfully here's one more dude to do it.

Me-Me King said...

Welcome to the freak show here in the blogosphere. I am your newest stalker!

Cheers!

Nancy C said...

Welcome! Blogging may be your virtual liquid truth.

drollgirl said...

for a man of few words, this is a pretty long post! ha!

and cheers to YOU! can't wait to read more from ya! :)

Copyboy said...

Ian told me to check out your blog and he (you as well) didn't disappoint. Great blog!!!

Viv said...

I have tended bar in my past, I would never have offered you a water chaser...I would have been disappointed when you didn't choke...but then I'm a sadist. Most of my amusement came from the kids (21ish) wanting the strongest liquor in the house. Most can't down a double shot of grain alcohol without being sick. If I hadn't worked in a hotel bar with a housekeeping staff on call, I suspect I might have been less of an asshole.

Alicia said...

welcome to the cult BDC! we should get acquainted since B is my mama... making you my new dad! DADDY!! can i borrow 20 bucks and the car?